[link] <---- read this journal. that's were my thoughts are coming from.

I HATE CHRISTMAS. okay.. i love it in someways, you know, getting together with family, snow, etc. but it's those things that i like that money can't buy. precious things. timeless things. time can take away your new sweater, now torn and ragged. time can break a vase, lose a toy car, and spend given money on bills. time can make you want a NEW ipod, even when yours works perfectly fine, though a generation old.

AND IT'S THESE THINGS THAT FADE AWAY THAT EVERYONE LOOKS FORWARD TO GETTING WHEN THEY HEAR THE WORD CHRISTMAS.

when we sit in our cozy homes, stuffing our fat faces with more mashed potatoes than is humanly possible, gazing out into the magical snow, but just to wonder if we're getting the snowboard to replace the old one. CONSUMERISM. never do we ONCE stop to think about a person with no home, spending christmas alone in a forest by a screaming highway. or a person in a developing country whose not going to get any food on christmas day, or watch their malnourished child die. on christmas day.

even giving is spoiled. when you give something special to someone you now that it is just as quickly overshadowed by the next goodie they lay their maybe unintentional greedy eyes on. it's nice to give someone a gift because you love them, but objects are only objects. they get lost, broken, worn, given, wrecked by the wash, forgotten and trash canned.

DON'T BELIEVE THAT I AM SOME WONDERFUL PERSON WHO ISN'T SUSCEPTIBLE TO CONSUMERISM.
I want a new camera. new ipod. new clothes. HP dvds, a wand, a laptop, money, gift cards etc.
I write this list and i feel SICK to my stomach. I am going to hurl. I say things against consumerism, and yet i'm just as much caught in the torrent of wants, lusts, and... "needs"

yet. this year i am going to swim against the current. i am not a strong swimmer, but when people think "emily enns" they don't think "give-up". I will conquer the river of wants.
i'll ask for money instead of s**t that i don't need and later on, buy a goat for a family somewhere in the world, so they can have milk and cheese and profit. my gifts to my friends and family will be AIDS vaccinations or a school kit for people in developing countries in my families honour. they will recognize when i give them an empty card, that because they didn't receive one more piece of crap this year, they will save a life. i know when i look at all the crap my friends have received this year, i'll feel regret about my actions. but that regret is short lived. there is a deeper kind of happiness that will stick with me.

For those interested in donating in someone's honour instead of a gift, ---> [link] <--- is an excellent website, with lots to choose from. They also tell you the conditions wihtout this product, and how your product will change the receiving person's life. Enjoy!